How Participation Medals in Schools Ruined Employee Engagement (and What Parents & Leaders Can Do About It)
Today we’re diving into a topic that might feel a little controversial, but also incredibly important if we want to shift the way we lead, parent, and engage people at work.
Let’s talk about participation medals, those shiny little tokens handed out at school sports days and activities, meant to make sure everyone felt included, valued, and good about themselves.
Now, let me start by saying this: participation medals came from a good place. They were meant to build confidence and self-esteem. And for some kids, they really did. For children who felt invisible, struggled with anxiety, or feared failure, getting that medal could help them feel like they belonged, reduce shame, and encourage them to try again.
So I’m not here to say participation medals are all bad. They’ve had a role in helping certain kids stay engaged and included.
But - and this is where it gets tricky - when participation became the norm, when everyone always got a medal, something shifted.
Because what happens when showing up becomes enough? When recognition is guaranteed, regardless of effort or outcome?
That’s what we need to talk about. Because the workplace we see today didn’t form overnight. It’s the product of how generations were raised, rewarded, and taught to value their efforts. And one of the most overlooked contributors to low engagement, entitlement, and fragility in the workplace is this very culture of participation medals.
And before anyone says, “But Jen, aren’t you the one who talks about empathy, emotional intelligence, and heart-led leadership? How can you be against participation medals?”
Let me be really clear: this perspective comes from compassion.
Because empathy isn’t about avoiding discomfort, it’s about equipping people for real life. And emotional intelligence means having the courage to notice when well-intentioned ideas actually have harmful long-term effects.
Origins: Why Participation Medals Took Off
The idea really picked up in the late 20th century, especially in the US, UK, and here in Australia. Educators and parents wanted to protect children from feelings of failure, to encourage inclusivity, and to make sure no one felt left out.
Research shows both sides of the argument. For kids who struggle with confidence, anxiety, or belonging, recognition of participation can genuinely help. It provides safety, reduces shame, and encourages them to re-engage even when they aren’t yet ready to win. Some educators defend participation awards as a gateway for nervous or disadvantaged children to feel seen and stay motivated.
But there’s a flip side. Studies also show that constant unearned rewards can blur the line between effort and outcome, weaken resilience, and foster entitlement. TheReview of Educational Research found that when children were rewarded just for showing up, their intrinsic motivation often dropped, they began associating effort with guaranteed reward, rather than learning to value growth or mastery.
Psychologists call this the “motivation paradox”, rewards meant to build confidence can actually diminish it when detached from effort or progress.
And this philosophy has even seeped into academics. Studies have linked the “everyone gets a reward” mindset with grade inflation, where the perception of merit is diluted, and effort appears less meaningful when everyone succeeds equally.
So yes, the intention was compassionate, but the ripple effects weren’t all positive.
The Ripple Effect in the Workplace
Fast forward to adulthood — and we’re seeing the effects in workplaces everywhere. So many leaders I work with tell me:
“My team shows up, but they’re not really engaged. They’re here, but not here.They expect praise just for being present, but they’re not stretching, growing, or pushing themselves.”
And the data backs that up:
Only 23% of employees globally are “actively engaged” at work (Gallup, State of the Global Workplace Report).
Employees whose recognition meets even one authentic pillar — being specific, timely, or tied to outcomes — are 2.9× more likely to feel engaged than those who receive none (TeamOut).
80% of employees say recognition boosts their engagement (EFX).
Those who feel recognised are 45% less likely to leave their organisation after two years (Vantage Circle).
The irony? Engagement isn’t about constant praise. It’s aboutmeaningfulrecognition, growth, and purpose.
People thrive when they know their unique contributions matter — not when recognition is standardised and stripped of significance.
The Leadership Connection
The workplace is, in many ways, a mirror of how we were raised. When we grow up believing that effort and outcome are always rewarded equally, it shapes how we perceive fairness, effort, and recognition later in life.
This shows up in three key ways:
Misaligned expectations: Some employees expect recognition simply for doing their job, not for excelling.
Fragile resilience: Setbacks hit harder when we’ve never built the muscle of managing failure.
Diluted engagement: Recognition without meaning loses impact; true engagement comes from challenge, purpose, and authentic growth.
Recognition still matters, especially for those who are new, less confident, or underrepresented. Early encouragement can build belonging, but it has to be grounded in truth, not participation.
Parents Hold the First Leadership Role
Before workplaces ever shaped our sense of recognition, parents did. As parents, we hold the first leadership role our children ever know. And it’s a delicate balance:
On one hand, we want our kids to know they are loved, valuable, and worthy - regardless of whether they win or lose. Their self-worth must never be conditional on external achievement.
On the other hand, they must also understand that achievementmatters.Working hard, striving for goals, and learning from failure are what build self-confidence and long-term resilience.
This is where participation medals miss the mark. They tried to solve the “self-worth” side, but neglected the “striving and resilience” side. Without both, children (and later, employees) struggle.
We are not doing our kids any favours by removing challenge. Shielding them from disappointment doesn’t build confidence - it builds fragility.
And yet, the solution isn’t to swing to the opposite extreme. The goal isn’t to eliminate recognition altogether, it’s to make it meaningful.
What Parents Can Do Differently
So, how do we as parents - and leaders - strike that balance?
Celebrate effort, not just results.Instead of “Well done for winning,” say, “I’m proud of how hard you trained and kept going even when it got tough.”
Normalise failure as safe.Let children lose sometimes. Let them feel disappointment. Then teach them how to process it, learn from it, and try again.
Separate worth from achievement.Reinforce over and over:“I love you for who you are, not what you do.“Achievements are celebrated, but love is unconditional.
Model resilience. Show them how you handle setbacks — with grace, persistence, and perspective. Children learn far more by watching than listening.
When we raise children this way, we’re not just raising future adults, we’re raising future employees, leaders, and innovators.
What Engagement Really Requires
The same lessons apply in leadership. If we want engaged, motivated teams, we need to bring meaning back to recognition.
Here’s what works:
Meaningful recognition.
Be specific, timely, and tied to outcomes. “I saw how you handled that difficult client conversation, you stayed calm, listened deeply, and diffused the tension beautifully.” That’s worlds away from, “Thanks for showing up today.”
Growth opportunities.
Give people room to stretch, to fail safely, and to improve. Resilience doesn’t come from always winning, it comes from learning how to get back up.
Purpose.
Help people see how their work connects to something bigger. Purpose transforms recognition into motivation.
Leadership Shifts We Need to Make
So, as leaders, what can we do differently?
Stopgeneric praise: make recognition meaningful and specific.
Normalise failure as growth: not shame.
Recognise effort and improvement, not just presence.
Tie recognition to purpose and progress make sure it aligns with the bigger mission.
When we do this, recognition transforms from a participation medal into a growth multiplier.
Final Thought
Participation medals weren’t born out of malice, they came from compassion. But compassion without foresight can have consequences.
As parents and leaders, our job isn’t to shield people from discomfort, it’s to prepare them for reality. To equip them with the resilience to fail, the courage to try again, and the understanding that recognition is sweetest when it’s truly earned.
Because whether in the classroom, on the sports field, or in the workplace, people don’t just want to be seen. They want to be seen for their real effort, growth, and contribution.
And that’s the foundation of both healthy children and engaged employees.
